vr
a novel
Scott Alexander Gabriel Reiss
February 1996
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
From:
SAGReiss
Date: 22 February 1996
Subject: 12000 Virgins
Move out the way, motherfuckers. It's big bad Gabe and I'm riding a
brand-new, 150 mega herz, thoroughbred stallion called Bucephalus. Just
looking at this monsterpiece of modern technology gives you a chronic
and probably fatal
case of pentium envy. While I've baptized the box, the mouse says
"Venus" so it's kind of like the hermaphrodites of which Aristophanes
spake in Plato's Banquet, as if any of you undergraduate scum had ever
read that. It's got a 17" monitor bigger than the Ritz, a laser printer
and speakers which scream and hiss at me whenever I screw up. I'm just
on the fascist Microsoft Network as an experiment. My real e-mail
address should be the last one, but that's such a fucked-up company
that I don't know yet. We'll see. I know what you're asking yourself,
Jeff: "How did a low-rent, white-trash scumbag like yourself find the
three thousand dollars necessary to buy all this dangerous machinery?"
Obviously my mother bought it. Now I can hear you others whom I don't
know (I know only the first four, charter members of this not quite in
real time MOO.): "Why the fuck has a thirty-two-year-old man with
several fake diplomas and a semi-respectable but fairly lucrative job
(waiting tables if you must know) need his mother to buy him a 'puter?"
Wait, first where did we get this thing? From the non-English-speaking
Oriental mafia working for the Stalinist
Chinese. They have a simple but elegant sales pitch: "We steal the
parts
in Japan, have them assembled by political prisoners in psych wards on
the
mainland, smuggle them stateside in the hull [Yes I still remember that
word,
Jeff. I read Moby's Dick when you were still wearing diapers.] of ships
carrying
boat people and sell them to you tax free and dirt cheap." Where did I
indeed
get three thousand dollars? I can see you all thinking that I didn't
have
them because I seem to feel the need to spend fifty dollars a day on
booze
and cigarettes, but you fools are jumping to conclusions. Not at all,
though
that's certainly true. You see the real reason is far deeper and far
darker
and much uglier. You remember, Jeff, I told you my old man fled his
creditors
when he inherited a stash from some forgotten old great aunt... I've
wondered
for a long time why my mother was so good to me, bailing me out every
time
I'd spent my last fifty bucks on whisky and Camels and why she wanted
to
buy me a 'puter (aside from her addiction to e-mail almost equal to
mine).
She recently admitted that some years ago my sister and I also
inherited
twelve thousand dollars. My sister got hers. My family decided that I
was
incapable of dealing with my money and they kept it from me. My father
later
conned my mother out of it and spent it on whores, licquor, sex, air
travel,
cars, computers, housing for him and his new sleazy wife (at least
that's
what my mother thinks, I couldn't care less). Guilt, as you can see,
can
be an inspiration for very positive behavior. So, in my first official
act
as figurehead leader of this weird army of misfits and Amazons, I
propose
the following: a double or triple or quadruple blind date including
Corinne
and Jeff, Amye and myself, Sweet Lou and his girlfriend whose name I
can
never recall and Calamity Kate and her boyfriend or girlfriend whatever
she's
into lately. We can meet at Lou's (Place not Sweet Lou's) at Walnut and
East
Fayette at seven in the evening for drinks (Please bring your real or
fake
ID. Mister Betsy carded Katy.) on Tuesday the twenty-seventh. If enough
of
you RSVP through e-mail or snail mail (My address, for those of you who
don't
know, is Scott Alexander Gabriel Reiss, Apartment 7, 1009 Madison
Street,
Syracuse, NY 13210.) I'll reserve a table at the Lemon Grove, the Tai
place
at Armory Square. Shit, I haven't seen you, Corinne and Jeff, since my
birthday
and I've got a lot of those fucking Camel Cash coupons saved up. To
those
of you who don't know me, Welcome to the world according to Gabe...
From: Caroline
Date: 23 February 1996
Subject: Re: 12000 Virgins
Scott,
Do I know you????? I am very confused !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Caroline
From: Brown_Sugar
Date: 23 February 1996
Subject: Re: 12000 Virgins
Who the hell are you?
Tyisha
From: Keith
Date: 23 February 1996
Subject: Re: 12000 Virgins
katy and lou are both gone... she in this hemishpere i think but
really not sure. and he didnt
pass enough classes to merit the university allowing him to spend his
fathers money here.. so much for both academic execellance and the
lucrative nature of academia... if he pays why kick him out?
From: SAGReiss
Date: 23 February 1996
Subject: La Comecabra
The theme of the past few weeks at work has been the dreaded monster
from Puerto Rica, la Comecabra or in some versions Chupacabra. The
English version is Goatkiller. The French press has surely reported the
vile deeds of the Mangeur (or) Tueur des Chevres or perhaps even on
analogy with casse-couilles they have called it the Mange-Chevre, but
the Germans no doubt have the best title, soon to be the title of an
opera, Der Geissfresser. Dr Geisskopf is preparing a treatise on the
whole matter even as we speak. Predictably enough the whole thing has
degenerated to comechucha and whatnot. I can hear you all laughing at
this kind of dumb-ass dishroom humor, but who gives a fuck if you like
my jokes. We haven't asked your opinion. Sorry to hear about
Sweet Lou. This fucking place. That is a smart boy, and a good man. How
the
fuck they could throw him out (let alone a man of my calibre) escapes
me.
I've no fear for him though. He's resoursful and he'll kick some ass
when
the time comes, which may be soon, for I think I've got a lead to
publish Babel. A publisher asking for cyberpunk and erotica. Dr
Geisskopf will see you now. I'm sending it out again on Monday.
Calamity Kate must be on that boat she told me about, sailing around
Asia or something. She suggested I apply for a job there. Career
counselling from my students. Actually you Jeff
were instrumental in landing me my current job. As to the ladies who
wrote
asking me who I am, or if we knew eachother, I am exactly who I said I
was,
and we know eachother well enough or little enough for you to have
given
me your e-mail. I didn't steal it. I'm an ex-future French teacher at
Syracuse
University or, in the words I've written for the liner notes of Babel:
"a
foul-mouthed, drunken polyglot intellectual”. The ritualistic
repetition
of words outside of any meaningful context, to get back to the subject
of
this letter, fits very well with my theory of language, which might
even
be true for all I know. Indeed ladies you know far more about me than I
know
about you, but you’re free to remain in the shadows or introduce
yourselves
or even sign off, as you wish. This is a very anarchistic medium.
Rectum
Vinum.
From: a plea from a sick little girl
Date: 23 February 1996
Subject: Re: La Comecabra
Hi. Please don't send me anymore e-mail. I don't know who you are or
how you got my address, but I would prefer not to hear from you
anymore. Thanks. Bye.
Amye
From: SAGReiss
Date: 23 February 1996
Subject: Re: La Comecabra
Sorry you're sick, dear. You gave me your e-mail, probably on the
lambda moo, but of course I won't write you anymore if you wish. It's
just a harmless little experiment in the electronic age of literature.
Sorry if you were offended.
From: Brown_Sugar
Date: 24 February 1996
Subject: Re: La Comecabra
Have been at Diversity University?
Tyisha
From: Brown_Sugar
Date: 24 February 1996
Subject: Re: 12000 Virgins
Don't bother answering the email I just sent you. I remember you now.
How could I forget. Excuse the fuck out of me.
Tyisha
From: SAGReiss
Date: 25 February 1996
Subject: Feeling quiet
I have no fucking idea who CARLTON&PETRINA are. I didn't type that,
so far as I know. Please use both of my e-mail addresses 'cause I don't
seem to be receiving all my mail on vcomm.net. Why have I got to do all
of the talking?
From: SAGReiss
Date: 25 February 1996
Subject: Before work
Short note. You see there is some attrition, but some new members. Yes,
Tyisha that's me from DU. I'm the brilliant but dangerous one, dixit
Jeanne. Say hello to her from me. Tell her I still think she's a fat
white bitch. She got me knocked off of two internet providers, the
cunt. I can't forgive Katie and Sweet Lou. They've still got active
accounts at SU and didn't
fucking leave me their passwords, the bastards. I've finally figured
out
how to use this new provider. MSN is a fascist monopoly, but it can
come
in handy, but this one is fifteen dollars a month unlimited and
uncensored.
I just have to figure out what to type from the telnet prompt. Any
ideas?
Please feel free, all of you not just Jeff, to answer all of us, not
just
me. And you can also invite any of your friends onto this MOO simply by
adding their address to the list. It's tiresome to type them all, but
perhaps
I'll figure out how to use the address book...
From: SAGReiss
Date: 25 February 1996
Subject: Quiet out there
Stunning silence. I can feel you out there or maybe you just don't
check your e-mail very often. Only Amye begged off in a letter entitled
"A plea from a sick little girl". I was so ashamed I wrote a letter
apologizing if I had hurt her feelings, told her it was all just a
harmless little experiment of some kind, which it may be. These things
have a habit of getting out of hand and changing into something
diferent from what you expected them to
be. All of you (unless you wear a condom on each finger when you touch
your
keyboard) are now infected with a brand-new digital strain of the AIDS
virus.
Remember there's no such thing as (depending on my mood and the time of
day)
safe sex, virtual reality or paranoia (I stole that one from Hunter S.
Thompson who stole it from some guy called F.X. Leach.) I do wonder
about you all, sitting out there reading this weird craziness, reading
my mind. Whatever...
From: SAGReiss
Date: 25 February 1996
Subject: Fat White Bitches
Who would believe that my latest lust interest at work (since Charlene
was promoted and transfered) is a fat white bitch from California, a
senior psychology major and a sorority sister (or whatever they're
called). When I confessed this weakness to Mark, one of the gay boys,
but I like him, he
said: "She's not that fat." Not that fat? She must weigh seventy-five
kilos.
She's obese. In fact she is as fat as she could possibly be without
being
a blob, but this is precisely her great charm. For she has beautifully
sculpted
curves. I think the danger of great beauty tottering on the edge of
great
ugliness turns me on. It's morbidly fascinating. Of course what is firm
baby
fat now will be mush in ten years, but that's just the point. Right now
she's
perfect, but it's a fleeting, vulnerable perfection. Just the idea of
so
much pale pink flesh to play with drives me crazy. I've never screwed a
big woman, though I've had a lot of scrawny ones. I wonder what it
would
be like. I'm going to try to find out. She's got some low rent fratboy
punk,
but so much woman could never be satisfied by some mincing
undergraduate. No, she needs a man of calibre and I think I may be just
the man for the job.
I already asked her out for a drink once, but she couldn't. I'll ask
her
out again I think Wednesday we're both closing at night. She's also the
only
person I work with with even a smattering of human intelligence and
even
a rumor of a rudimentary education. The others are frighteningly
ignorant, beasts. It's all crazy of course. What I need is a sleek,
brown skinned type. Wish me luck.
From: Caroline
Date: 26 February 1996
Subject: Re: Fat White Bitches
Will you please stop sending me your idiotic email.......
From: Tom
Date: 26 February 1996
Subject: Re: Fat White Bitches
sir-
no disrespect but could you please delete this address off of your
distribu-
tion list for your e-mails- my sister in law is a student at the
university
of syracuse and i have sent her some e-mail-a glitch in the system
somehow got
me onto your e-mail list- thank you for taking care of this-
Tom
From: SAGReiss
Date: 26 February 1996
Subject: Finally
I have finally figured this fucking thing out. Yes it's a clear ride
from here on in. the day didn't look good when i woke up at four to go
to work only to find i am on tonight half past two till closing, about
half past eleven, but i got in touch with IDT and they helped me with
telnet and i figured
out my own fucking e-mail address. i hadn't been using the fucking
local
host name. some girl dropped out calling my mail idiotic. Is it? but as
you
can see i add new members every day. people out there are looking for
something.
i don't know what. is it me? i even have to turn some people down. i
may
begin eliminating people who don't answer at all, just to say hello i
am
reading your letters. some of these accounts may not even be active i
suspect.
i can't believe you're all out there reading this drivel and have
absolutely
no comment at all. perhaps. who knows? I'll write more later. right now
i'm
getting on the fucking net. Salut bisamme.
From: SAGReiss
Date: 26 February 1996
Subject: Re: Finally
please be alerted my user id will probably change to sagr9 in a couple
of days so if gabe19 doesn't work try that or wait for new mail. thanks.
From: SAGReiss
Date: 27 February 1996
Subject: Saddam Hussein
That's what we call him, although the front desk calls him Mr Blankets
and his credit card says Stephen Hussein. He's the nephew of the
Illustrious One and tonight he ordered first a fish of the day dinner
and a bottle of Pino Grigio, which I brought up to him and his sleazy
blonde SU co-ed, then he ordered another, saying to the fat white
hostess, with whom I'm having no luck at all, thanks to her chickenshit
Jason, that it was so good he'd like another, and another bottle of
white, and finally a slice of flourless chocolate cake with two
flaeschele. All in all it was a fine night for Iraqui-American
relations as he tipped me about twenty-five dollars, plus the twenty
dollar service charge. Who cares what Mo has to say about it. I haven't
seen any Kuwaiti Sheiks throwing around money. His English is very fine
too. I had to train a new guy, after spending exactly two nights on
room service myself, but when we both went in to this little girls
(twentysomething) room the look of unmistakable dread ("This is what
Mother warned me about.") was on her face. She thought she was about to
be gang-banged by two balding skinny guys. She locked the door so fast
after us she must have broken the world record for crossing a hotel
room. After all that excitement there was the Delta Upsilon party in
the bar. Two of the girls dressed and made up as hookers, one in
scarlet one in black, were at the hostess station arguing about the
whereabouts of a certain black bra: "Well I'll check under my pillow,
but I don't think it's there." "I can't believe you said that," says
the hostess after they'd left. "That wasn't so bad. I've said far
worse." Shit the girls thought it was funny and I lit their cigarettes.
After all, this is a full-service hotel, or so I'm told...
From: SAGReiss
Date: 27 February 1996
Subject: 4X4
Sorry, I couldn't resist that joke in very poor taste. Although both
men and women fantasize about rape, I have seen a woman gang banged and
it didn't look like much fun. I hesitate to put you on the MOO, so I'll
just send you blind copies (all these addresses are mine) of some of
our mail and let
you decide. Now that I think about it this is an all women's MOO except
for
me (our fearless leader) and Jeff, my best friend for whom I can
personnally answer. He's very mean, but rape is not his style. Have I
fainally figured it out? I was very drunk last night, but are you
black? That would explain the weird first name. Most of the
members of this MOO are more or less of color and/or speak different
tongues than English. I spend my free time on the net or in the ghetto
with the bros and spent (as I think I told you) ten years speaking in
tongues in Europe. Anyway it's up to you. You would
certainly add very much to our little world...
From: CARLTON&PETRINA
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: Re: Finally
Dont be a prick. If they arent answering its because your words have
such a sobering effect, their fear haunts and spooks them into silence.
I wasnt quite sure what you meant by "email club" but it fascinates the
hell outta me. I have questions to come...for you.
From: CARLTON&PETRINA
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: Re: Saddam Hussein
Fascinating stuff...Whos Saddam Hussein? The service was lousy, but im
told there was this one fellow who was hung like a horse...they called
him "SAG" How you like that Scott, remember me Wild Lisa, the negress?
From: Nichelle
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: Re: 4X4
Thank you for forwarding that email to me. I'm not sure that I
understand why you hesitate to add me to the list. Trust me, I can
handle just about anything. As to whether or not I am black, no I'm
not. I am the only white Nichelle I have ever met or heard of. I was
named after a black girl in a day care where my mother worked when my
father was away in Vietnam.
I will send you more about the rape experiences and whatever else comes
to mind after I finish all of my rehearsals and performances tonight.
I'm in a shitty production of Big River which runs every night until
Saturday. I haven't been sleeping enough, and I have fast food for
dinner far too
often because I have only one hour before the show. I need a shower
before
the show tonight, so I may just skip dinner entirely. More soon-
Nichelle
From: Brown_Sugar
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: Re: Saddam Hussein
Although it says that this message is on the topic Saddam Hussein is
really is not. My apologies to all for not making consistent responses
but I have been swamped with midterms. And don't you worry Scott if you
remember I have a mouth just as big as yours and I can sometimes be
just as cynical as your opinionated as.
Take Care
Tyisha
From: SAGReiss
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: Sale of Two Titties
Two girls I spoke with today, yesterday technically, but there's no
tomorrow on the 'net, particularly for those who may work either day or
evening shifts and drink too much to remember the past, two new members
of this MOO or 'net or whatever it is. (By the way my IDT account is
temporarily fucking up.
I may keep this one as an occasional backup. Shiiit even Wild Bill
Gates needs
money.) Both of them are students, one in Israel, one in Washington
state.
Both of them are probably going to be very angry at me when and if I
send
this letter. The former I have MOOknown for months having spent quite a
few
very drunken nights promising to take the next flight out of Kennedy to
go
marry her and become a spy for the Mossad. She won't even tell me her
fucking
name, even though she's newly available, having broken up with her
low-rent
boyfriend from the army. She is clinically totally paranoid and will
probably
have fits when she sees I have publicized her e-mail address. Don't
worry,
darling, these are our friends. None of them, to my knowledge, belong
to
the Jihad. Nor do I, at least not yet. They're processing my job
application.
The latter is called Nichelle, named, as she told me, after a sister,
so
I was at least a little right on that score. She told me she has been
raped
four times, including a kind of 'netrape or daterape by someone she met
on
the MOO. Now all of you out there are women except for me and Jeff, and
as
I assured Nichelle, he's very mean but rape is not his style, at least
not
yet, but he may grow into it as time goes by. You see he's very young.
Which
all leads me to what? I can't really remember, but why would a
perfectly
secure young Israeli not want to give her name to a friend, but a girl
who
has had a rather bad experience on the 'net, well on the floor I think
she
told me, freely give out her e-mail to a stranger (and you all know I'm
strange)
and ask to become part of our little group? Beats me. There's no such
thing
as paranoia...
From: Nichelle
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: Re: 4X4
Hello again. Here is my promised reply about the rapes. I have been
thinking all day about how to write this and where I ought to begin. I
guess I'll just start.
The first time I was raped and molested, I was seven years old. My
family was living in Renton, which is a suburb of Seattle. I was a very
sweet little girl (some say I still am), very shy and introverted
(which isn't quite as true now), and I absolutely idolized my neighbor
Jamie. I remember two occasions when he abused me sexually. The first
time, I was spending the night with the neighbors because my parents
and brother were out of town for some reason. We were lying there
talking with the lights turned off, me on the floor
and Jamie on his bed. He told me that the monsters were going to get me
if I stayed on the floor. He told me that he would protect me.
When I got into his bed, he began to touch my body. I can't blame him
for that, I suppose, because I imagine that my little girl skin was so
smooth and so pretty he was just overwhelmed by the temptation to touch
it. I think he was about fourteen. He took my hand in his and placed it
on his penis. He said things to me that I can't remember now. He put
his fingers in my little vagina, and I knew it was wrong but I trusted
him.
Another day, I was playing games at Jamie's house. I don't remember
what. He took me up to his bedroom, took off his pants and undressed
me. He made me suck on his cock, he made me lie down on his bed while
he rubbed it between my legs, trying to force it inside of me. I don't
remember anything else of that day, except that horrible huge dick in
me, ripping me up. He told me not to tell anyone about it. It took me
aboaut twelve years to finally face the fact that it had happened.
When I was ten my mom, brother, and I moved to Spokane WA after my
parents divorce. Mom remarried within the year to a repulsive man named
Chris, the only person I have ever hated. He treated all of us
abusively, and this time I was old enough to know it. It was common for
him to stand next to me,
slide his hand up my shirt and stroke my skin, telling me how smooth it
was, how lovely it was. He always tried to kiss me, and would hold me
in
the kiss when I tried to get away. He made me watch pornos with him in
his
bed. While we watched them, he would tell me about how he fucked my
mother. He would rub his cock under the covers, or play with my
breasts. I would lie
there quietly, afraid to move, screaming inside because I knew I had no
control.
When he raped me, I told my mother about it. It was never mentioned
again.
Maybe she felt as helpless as I did.
My mom and Chris divorced when I was about thirteen or so. I was a
pretty normal kid, didn't appear to be too fucked up. I did all of the
normal things kids do. I dated in high school, had plenty of friends,
didn't really think much about what had happened.
Then my friend Jen threw a huge, loud, wild party. It isn't really my
style, but I went anyway. This guy named Jason asked me if I wanted to
talk
somewhere quiet. When we found somewhere out of the way, we talked a
little,
then he pushed me down and the next thing I knew he was fucking me,
holding
down my wrists, telling me it was my fault I didn't like it. "What's
your
problem, whore? I'm gonna fuck you til you like it." When he was done
with
me, he left. I walked down to my car, drove home, stood in the shower
numbly
scrubbing my body until the water came out cold and my body felt as
numb
as my mind. I went to sleep, I got up and went about my life in a
trance.
I don't really know how long that lasted. It was my fault. If it
happens
once, it is bad luck. If it happens twice, it is coincidence. If it
happens
a third time, I thought, it is your fucking fault. I snapped. I hated
myself.
I hated the world. I wanted to die, and I tried to kill myself.
Obviously,
it didn't happen.
Things changed because they had to. Nobody can live with this kind of
anguish forever. I suffered a lot. For about four years, I think, I did
very little except suffer, feel like a victim, hate life. I got sick of
it. Eventually, you get really tired of it. So I decided not to suffer
anymore.
There was an actualy moment when I said, "Enough of this bullshit." And
I'm glad there was. You asked me why I'm not meaner. That's why. I
don't
want to be mean. I don't want to be a victim in my own mind.
When I met this guy from the MOO, I didn't know that he would rape me.
I had met several other people. We didn't always hit it off, but I
hadn't slept with any of them, and nothing dangerous happened. I rode
the greyhound for 25 hours or so to meet this guy. He raped me on his
living room floor and cut up my leaft breast and left a scar by my left
collarbone. I think there are at least five scars from those razor cuts.
I went home. That's it. I left, I went home. He's an asshole. He's a
fucking psycho. But I am *not* his victim. I will never be a vitim
again.
Of course I can't just decide that hey, I'm happy, and nothing will
ever hurt me again. I mean, this has completely fucked up my sex life.
I'm working on that, because I don't want a lifetime of bad sex. Or a
lifetime of no sex.
Does this explain things a little? I have not lied to you, nor do I
intend to. All this talk about rape isn't really where I like to begin
when explaining myself, but if it comes up it's just impossible to
resist. You just sit there like Pandora, cracking her knuckles and
licking her lips as she imagines lifting the fucking lid. Hmm, what's
in here?
Later-
Nichelle
From: Brown_Sugar
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: Re: Sale of Two Titties
Although I do not particularly like the topic Scott I am not surprised
that you would think of some shit like that. Anyway this is just a
response to Scott's complaint about lack of response to the messages he
types. I do
not want you to think that I abandoned you my dearest Scott but the
truth of the matter is that UC Berkeley has got me stressed beyond
belief with the
occurrences of these midterms around the same time. I am letting all of
you
out there know that I can be just as obnoxious, cynical, stubborn, and
opinionated
as Scott but the reason I have not been able to reek terror as of yet
is
because of all these damn midterms. I hope that everyone has a great
fucking
day.
Cheers,
Tyisha
From: Nichelle
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: Re: 4X4
I would like for you to tell me more about your MOO. What exactly do
you want? Conversation? An audience? How long has it existed? Who are
these people?
Nichelle
From: SAGReiss
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: Only the beginning
I am now sure that this is going to work. The first of my crazy,
brilliant schemes to pan out. Now I can level with you all. I may not
even be the best writer on my own fucking MOO. Nichelle will give me a
good battle for that coveted crown. By the way, Nichelle, be it said in
passing, you are a very brave woman and I respect the sheer courage of
what you are doing more than any other act of willpower I can think of,
and I myself have a will of steel. I encourage you to share that blind
message you wrote me with the others. I can't take that responsibility,
but please consider it. Well then Ladies and Jeff (I was going to say
gentleman, but that's another story.) this
is a writing workshop where we are going to write the world's first
e-novel. Babel is more of conventional novel because written mostly off
the 'net
by more or less one man. Let's say it's the novel of transition which
leads
inevitably to this. I have chosen you all simply because you are smart
and
mean and (if Nichelle is any example) write like whirling dirvishes. We
are
all going to be rich and famous. As king of this MOO I decide who gets
the
cash and the answer is we each get an equal share. I'll simply decide
when
I think we've got enough or see a fitting ending, and then I'll shop it
around
the publishing houses. Of course by then I may have already made me and
Corinne and Jeff rich and famous by publishing Babel. The novel of
letters has a
long and rich and noble tradition dating back at least to the Romans,
which
is a long time ago if you happen to twenty-one years old. As to your
questions, Nichelle, there are no rules. As far as I'm concerned anyone
can write anything they want to anyone in any language. I suggest that
I receive copies if
you send blind copies amongst yourselves so that there will be a
central
depository for all the letters, but if you prefer Corinne as secretary
that's
fine too. As to your chickenshit exams, Tyisha, anyone on this MOO
should
be a (wo)man of enough calibre never to study for an exam. I never have
and look where it got me. Oops, waiting tables at the Sheraton. Never
mind. Actually I did fail an exam once, actually I
failed the same exam about seven times, but I more than made up for
that
on the GRE. On a lighter front boys and girls I almost got married
again
last night on the 'net. Yes we did have cybersex on the first date, or
rather
I cyberate her. When I asked if she had actually masturbated (Most
people
don't, I have the impression.) she gave an ambiguous answer, but she
let
me do all the talking for quite a while... This is a bad-ass woman and
I'd
like to share her with you, and show her what I have wrought, for I am
very
proud of you all. I can't do this yet for a couple of reasons. Number
one
Jeff has a habit of screwing up my love life irl. Instead of
introducing me
to beautiful, drunken young sluts, he gets Katy all pissed off at me.
I'm
so sorry Katie and Lou are here to see this. I'm hurt that Lou didn't
come
to me for help. I'd have written his term papers for him and told him
what's
going to be on the exams. You think I couldn't pass Psych 101? Shiiit.
Number
two is this is a very conservative 30 year old broad with a lot of
class
and I can't let her see too much of me all at once. It takes a while to
get
used to my sense of humour and understand all the bad craziness. I
apologize
to you and to her, but all's fair in love and war. I was so fucking
charming
last night it was like the keyboard was on fire. I just kept throwing
out
these elegant, witty, hilarious lines and she kept hitting LOL. We also
had
our first spat. She thought I was making fun of her on a soft spot (her
divorce
of which she remains deeply ashamed) and she went off like a rocket. I
mean
I was scared seeing this white hot anger spewing out of the screen. In
the
middle of this savage brawl I said: "You seem to have a short fuse.
I'll
remember that." "How dare you." It was scary, but I managed to talk her
out
of it. I was in very fine form. To her credit she never even threatened
to
leave the room, but just sat by and talked it out. I'll remember never
to
say anything about used sheets in her company. Anyway it feels like the
real deal.
Stop snicker Jeff you asshole, I can get cyberwed if I like. So anyway
kids,
that's about it. I need your help. We can only write this together and
so
far I do all the talking. I think ssullivan is an empty account. If you
know
someone you'd like to bring on, please feel free, but no children
please.
I don't feel like being busted by some thugs in the pay of Pat Buchanan
and
thrown on a chain-gang in Newt Gingrich's state. Oh one other thing,
Nichelle.
It's just a slight criticism of a very brilliant text. I didn't really
care
for the sleazy, cliche-ridden hollywood ending about not being a victim
and
whatnot. Your story is so good it doesn't need a conclusion. This is
literature,
people, it doesn't need to be literary.
From: SAGReiss
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: Cybercourtship
My Dear Karen,
That was some first cyberdate. We have our first spat and end up in the
cybersack. I am so pleased to have met you. I have told all of my
friends about you like some lovestruck teenager. They are all making
fun of me.
I am just so amazed to find that such a woman would be interested in
me.
I'm so used to being treated like shit on the 'net by punks who think
they're my betters because I have got a piece of paper to say I'm smart
and actually have to work with my hands on something other than a
keyboard to buy my
food. The truth is I'm a little ashamed of my job myself. Something is
a
little wrong with either me or the world when a world-class
intellectual
(I published and article in the very posh French literary journal Les
Temps
Modernes when I was just 26.) has to wait tables to pay the rent. It's
my
own fault, really. I'm an arrogant man who doesn't suffer fools gently
(Is
that the right adverb? My English...) (Maybe that should be gladly?) I
don't
think we shall disappoint eachother should we ever meet irl. I'm a keen
enough reader to see the person behind her words and I'm sure you are
too.
I don't want to start another brawl, but if you look at the text (My
attempt
to save it failed and I'm not sure I'm disappointed. Some things are
best
left in the mind's eye, as I said about music and artwork.) you did go
off
very fast. The anger was burning up the screen. I was frightened. I was
stunned
too by your subsequent confession, by it's depth of feeling so
eloquently
worded. It sounded like a confession. You have nothing to apologize for
or
be ashamed of. Maybe he was a bum and maybe you were very young.
Perhaps
the best way for us to communicate is through @talk. I'm not too sure
how
this works, but I think if one of us just types @talk and the e-mail
address
it might work. I'll see if I can find out. For some strange reason I
can't
think of anything to say, which, as you might have noticed last night,
is
something that seldom happens to me. I'm not working this evening, so
maybe
I'll see you on MSN.
Sincerely,
Scott Alexander Gabriel Reiss
From: scaredycat
Date: 28 February 1996
Subject: technical junk
read your mail, didn't know what to make of it. anyway, being the
helpful person that i am, i'll give you some boring technical advice.
first of all what you have is not a MOO.
in Pavel Curtis' (the omnipotent) own words:
> MOO stands for "MUD, Object Oriented." MUD, in turn, has been said
to stand
> for many different things, but I tend to think of it as
"Multi-User Dungeon"
> in the spirit of those ancient precursors to MUDs, Adventure and
Zork.
if you do not have a MOO, what *do* you have?
it looks to me more like a mailing list
there are programs that handle such a medium, allowing `Bucephalus` and
the rest of the internet's electronic beings to do the technical work
for you. any other kind of work, such as writing, even a 150MHz monster
wont
do for you. (do female programmers get pentium envy? sadly the answer
is
yes.)
i would suggest a couple of alternatives:
1. get a mail exploder program, so you can create a mailing list, there
are two kinds of mailing lists, moderated and non-moderated. the first
lets the lists' administrator (you) decide what is `fit to print` from
what people send in. the second just posts everything automaticaly. you
can add people to this mailing list and remove them as you please (the
normal procedure lets people send anemail with the subject:`subscribe`
and automatically they are added to the list).
** i didn't find out where to get such a program, i could, if you want.
2. there is also an option of creating a newsgroup on the usenet, this
will allow *anyone* read the list (you can make it moderated or not, as
well).
** to create one you have to write to news.annouce.newsgroups (read the
FAQ
** first!) and give them the name of the group (like alt.wierd.email or
** whatever) and the topic for discussion.
whatever you choose, i think you should also look into creating a web
page explaining what your discussion group/list is about, and giving
information on how to reach you (such as your list's email address or
your newsgroup's name).
if you want i can send you a bunch of file about these subjects full of
the techno-bable i'm so fond of.
--scaredycat
p.s.
if i understood you correctly, you come to the MOO to get people's
email it might be easier if you register as a character (objectively
speaking of course...) simply type:
@request Scott_Alexander_Gabriel_Reiss for sagreiss@yourmail.com
(or any other alias you like)
From: scaredycat
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Servers...
i give up.
forward the mail that you sent to microwave, just for now.
i think nether.net is down for the day...
(next time use nether.net as usual)
--scaredycat
From: SAGReiss
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Lovescript
Despite rumours to the contrary I did manage to script last night's
cyberdate from hell. It's beautiful. Someday I'll let you all read it.
I'm delighted. I was very surprized by your letter, Rita. It was very
thoughtful, kind and even helpful. You sometimes strike me as immature,
but this letter impresses me. And I thought you were going to gouge my
eyes out on the MOO for signing you up without your permission. Your
llogic, however, is poor concerning what constitutes a MOO. You say:
"Multi-User Domain that is Object Oriented". This is a domain, which is
just a space or place. There are a dozen or so users. And it is object
oriented, the object being to create new works of literature. The only
difference is that this is not in real time. I don't see why that
matters. I will investigate non-moderated mailing lists. It's not up to
me to decide what everyone can and can't send. We must be able to
control who comes on. The fucking geeks are not going to take over my
MOO.
So option two doesn't interest us. We're a private, for profit
corporation and I hereby declare you technical director. We can call
you wizzard if you prefer that title. With those perameters would you
please be so kind as to look into a mail exploder program? You're very
kind. You're also very dumb and crazy not to come and visit me. You
could sleep at Corinne and Jeff's place. Jeff is so pooped from cyber-
and irldorking Corinne all day that he
probably couldn't get a hard-on if you tried to rape him. Besides he's
a
ninety-pound weakling and you could take him out. You were a soldier in
one
of the best trained armies in the world. What have you got to be
affraid of?
From: SAGReiss
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Lovescript
Darling I have found the tape of last night, at least most of it,
everything we said in room 219. I've very happy. I've been reading it
and it's very beautiful. I could send you a copy if you give me your
snail-mail address. Also I was throwing away some newspapers and found
the magazine about China. I could send you that too if you were
interested. It's not great, but some of the articles aren't too shabby.
I think I may have figured out why I was having trouble finding words
for this morning's letter. I don't think of you
as a vr friend, but as a real friend and potential lover, whom I happen
to
have met and with whom I happen to communicate on the 'net, for now at
least.
May is not that far away ("Shall I compare thee to a summer's day"?).
Wait,
fuck Shakes. Here's a love poem I wrote (in translation). It also
figures in Babel.
Marie please kiss me, fuck me, no not fuck
But tear my heart out with your rosy breath
Don't tear it out, but out of every vein
Suck my whole scattered soul between your arms.
No, no don't suck it, for upon my death
What would I be if not an empty ghost,
No body lying on the loveless bank
(Excuse me Pluto) where one fakes love games?
As long as we live let us love, Marie.
Love doesn't reign on the enchanted troops
Of death who wallow in steel sleep.
He lies when Pluto loves Persephone.
So sweet a care can't enter hardened breast.
Love reigns on Earth and never down in Hell.
I translated that from a sixteenth century French sonnet by Pierre de
Ronsard.
From: Nichelle
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Re: Only the beginning
Hello, quick introduction, I'm Nichelle, hi hi.. Scott, I am perfectly
willing to share my text with the list and will do it soon. In the
meantime, one quick comment about your criticism of my text. Why is it
that optimism is cliche? Why is it that you expect me to be some mean
bitch because I have had a bad past?
I am actively and violently at war against bitterness and cynicism, and
fuck you if you think it is cliche. Fine, wallow in your sarcasm and
feel big and tough. I see no reason why an intelligent and independent,
strong and experienced person cannot be optimistic, cannot express
their need to break away from oppression, to elevate themselves above
the statis of victim. More later.
Nichelle
From: SAGReiss
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Kicking ass
You misunderstand me, Nichelle. You are the big and tough one. I am
small and weak. Anyone who doesn't answer your amazing letter doesn't
deserve to be on this MOO. And I will begin excluding people, since I
have decided that only those who participate actively, be it only one
short letter, may continue. There are two exceptions, Corinne and Rita,
and it's none of your fucking business why. You seem to have
misunderstood me. Optomism per se is not
a cliche. What is a cliche is the terms in which you couched your
optomism. The stuff about not being a victim. I could read that in the
newspaper every day. But very few people, if any, have read such a
beautiful account of
such horror as you gave to me. Do you see what I mean? I'm talking
about literary merit, not substance or philosophy. I only just noticed,
you've added someone to the MOO. I cannot express my admiration for
you, Nichelle. You are a great woman, a giant, an Amazon, a champion, a
world-class literary athelete. I welcome your friend in all of our
names. It's like what one reads
in the paper (and for those of you who don't know I'm an unrepentant,
inveterate
reader of newspapers, even USAToday): "Rape is a crime of power, not of
sex."
Well fine, but what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Someone wrote a
book
using all of La Rochefucault's famous Maximes and simply inverted the
clauses
so that they would mean exactly the opposite and they made just as much
sense. Meaningful discourse is not so easy as it seems. You have given
me a lesson in that and I hope you will pass it on to our fellow
members. I repeat,
because I cannot reiterate it enough, the awe and respect you inspire
in
me for your bold, brave behavior.
From: Brown_Sugar
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Re: Only the beginning
Sorry Scott,
There is a need for me to study my ass off. Unlike you I do not have
the privelege of being white and male. (No intention of being racist).
In case you forgot I am black and female. No that does not define me or
what my personality entails; however the rest of society defines me by
my gender and my ethnicity. Waiting tables when I can do so much more
with this intelligence, that I
have been blessed with, is demeaning to and for me. So don't tell me
not
study...as a matter of fact you should be encouraging me and
congratulating me for taking care of business (something many people
don't do these days which is why alot of things in this world are so
fucked up.)
Dear Nichelle,
I think that it is great that you are filled with optimism and would
like to spread that feeling around. The world could use that as well
instead of continuously putting others down for attempting to make the
world a better place. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you to keep on what
you are doing.
Everyone,
Excuse my rudeness, but my name is Tyisha and I am a first year
sophomore at the University of California at Berkeley. My major is
political science and english. I am going to Yale Law School to major
in corporate law for graduate school. By the way a first year sophomore
is a first year student with sophomore status for those of you who did
not know and also take notice that I said I ma going to Yale not that I
want to. So watch out world because you have got a hot one in your
hands. I hope that all of us can become great associates if not friends.
And I'm out,
Tyisha
From: SAGReiss
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Re: Lovescript
Corinne and Jeff don't you see this? Please fucking e-mail us. Don't
you realize what's happening. It's working. We are really going to be
able to build our own MOO, and look at the bad-asses who are already on
it. I can't believe you two aren't trembling with exitement as am I.
These are the best and the brightest and the baddest and they're
working with us. Sure they treat me like a scumbag from time to time,
but that's to be expected. This is new to all of us. No one knows what
to expect here. This is a whole new world...
From: Brown_Sugar
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Mail Returns.
You need to take off Gabe19 and sagr9 because everytime I email I get
some kind of error and it is these addresses that keep coming up. Take
care
of it.
Thanx,
Tyisha
From: bat7
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: ListServ
this is what i came up with:
Majordomo
http://www.math.su.edu/barr/majordomo-faq.html
ftp://ftp.greatcircle.com/pub/majordomo/
VxWorks "Exploder" and Public Domain Archives/The Wind River Users
http://www.wrs.com/vxexplo.html
ftp.atd.ucar.edu /pub/.. (someplace in there...
About: e-mail Handling
http://www.organik.uni erlangen.de/info/about-MAIL.html
if i hadn't been so annoid i would spend a bit more than a 5 minute
search.
why search at all you ask? *i* keep *my* promises.
--scaredycat
p.s.
if you have trouble with something, RTFM!
From: Nichelle
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Oppression and Optimism
Here is the text exactly as it was sent to Scott. Cheese and all. Part
of the reason, and he didn't tell you this, that I felt a need to get
into the victim thing is that he was really hesitant to add me to this
list. A
victim was all of me he seemed to see. A Girl Who Has Been Raped Four
Times.
That is one danger of sharing things about yourself. People judge you
enough,
as Tyisha pointed out, without giving them more ammunition.
I reserve the right to share this with only the people I choose. It is
being shared with you in confidence, and don't take that lightly.
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Hello again. Here is my promised reply about the rapes. I have been
thinking all day about how to write this and where I ought to begin. I
guess I'll just start.
The first time I was raped and molested, I was seven years old. My
family was living in Renton, which is a suburb of Seattle. I was a very
sweet little girl (some say I still am), very shy and introverted
(which isn't quite as true now), and I absolutely idolized my neighbor
Jamie. I remember two occasions when he abused me sexually. The first
time, I was spending the night with the neighbors because my parents
and brother were out of town for some reason. We were lying there
talking with the lights turned off, me on the floor
and Jamie on his bed. He told me that the monsters were going to get me
if I stayed on the floor. He told me that he would protect me.
When I got into his bed, he began to touch my body. I can't blame him
for that, I suppose, because I imagine that my little girl skin was so
smooth and so pretty he was just overwhelmed by the temptation to touch
it. I think he was about fourteen. He took my hand in his and placed it
on his penis. He said things to me that I can't remember now. He put
his fingers in my little vagina, and I knew it was wrong but I trusted
him.
Another day, I was playing games at Jamie's house. I don't remember
what. He took me up to his bedroom, took off his pants and undressed
me. He made me suck on his cock, he made me lie down on his bed while
he rubbed it between my legs, trying to force it inside of me. I don't
remember anything else of that day, except that horrible huge dick in
me, ripping me up. He told me not to tell anyone about it. It took me
aboaut twelve years to finally face the fact that it had happened.
When I was ten my mom, brother, and I moved to Spokane WA after my
parents divorce. Mom remarried within the year to a repulsive man named
Chris, the only person I have ever hated. He treated all of us
abusively, and this time I was old enough to know it. It was common for
him to stand next to me,
slide his hand up my shirt and stroke my skin, telling me how smooth it
was, how lovely it was. He always tried to kiss me, and would hold me
in
the kiss when I tried to get away. He made me watch pornos with him in
his
bed. While we watched them, he would tell me about how he fucked my
mother. He would rub his cock under the covers, or play with my
breasts. I would lie
there quietly, afraid to move, screaming inside because I knew I had no
control.
When he raped me, I told my mother about it. It was never mentioned
again.
Maybe she felt as helpless as I did.
My mom and Chris divorced when I was about thirteen or so. I was a
pretty normal kid, didn't appear to be too fucked up. I did all of the
normal things kids do. I dated in high school, had plenty of friends,
didn't really think much about what had happened.
Then my friend Jen threw a huge, loud, wild party. It isn't really my
style, but I went anyway. This guy named Jason asked me if I wanted to
talk
somewhere quiet. When we found somewhere out of the way, we talked a
little,
then he pushed me down and the next thing I knew he was fucking me,
holding
down my wrists, telling me it was my fault I didn't like it. "What's
your
problem, whore? I'm gonna fuck you til you like it." When he was done
with
me, he left. I walked down to my car, drove home, stood in the shower
numbly
scrubbing my body until the water came out cold and my body felt as
numb
as my mind. I went to sleep, I got up and went about my life in a
trance.
I don't really know how long that lasted. It was my fault. If it
happens
once, it is bad luck. If it happens twice, it is coincidence. If it
happens
a third time, I thought, it is your fucking fault. I snapped. I hated
myself.
I hated the world. I wanted to die, and I tried to kill myself.
Obviously,
it didn't happen.
Things changed because they had to. Nobody can live with this kind of
anguish forever. I suffered a lot. For about four years, I think, I did
very little except suffer, feel like a victim, hate life. I got sick of
it. Eventually, you get really tired of it. So I decided not to suffer
anymore.
There was an actualy moment when I said, "Enough of this bullshit." And
I'm glad there was. You asked me why I'm not meaner. That's why. I
don't
want to be mean. I don't want to be a victim in my own mind.
When I met this guy from the MOO, I didn't know that he would rape me.
I had met several other people. We didn't always hit it off, but I
hadn't slept with any of them, and nothing dangerous happened. I rode
the greyhound for 25 hours or so to meet this guy. He raped me on his
living room floor and cut up my leaft breast and left a scar by my left
collarbone. I think there are at least five scars from those razor cuts.
I went home. That's it. I left, I went home. He's an asshole. He's a
fucking psycho. But I am *not* his victim. I will never be a vitim
again.
Of course I can't just decide that hey, I'm happy, and nothing will
ever hurt me again. I mean, this has completely fucked up my sex life.
I'm working on that, because I don't want a lifetime of bad sex. Or a
lifetime of no sex.
Does this explain things a little? I have not lied to you, nor do I
intend to. All this talk about rape isn't really where I like to begin
when explaining myself, but if it comes up it's just impossible to
resist. You just sit there like Pandora, cracking her knuckles and
licking her lips as she imagines lifting the fucking lid. Hmm, what's
in here?
Later-
Nichelle
From: bat7
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Scott Alexander Gabriel Reiss
i couldn't prove my point any better.
why would i give ID to someone that even can't keep my email to
himself? don't mess a with hackers (or geeks as you might call them)
let alone the paranoid ones.
> I was very surprized by your letter, Rita.
it's not rita.
> You say: "Multi-User Domain that is Object Oriented". This is a
domain,
> which is just a space or place.
for all i care you can call THIS a `C++` and call ME `Rita` but no one
will know what you're talking about.
when my 'lil brother gets some word's defention wrong - unable to admit
his own ignorance, he mumbles something like, "whats the difference? as
long as i understand myself..."
> It's not up to me to decide what everyone can and can't send.
well, this email proves that in a way...
> The fucking geeks are not going to take over my MOO.
well... i don't think i have to answer that one (and what MOO is that?)
> We can call you wizzard if you prefer that title.
that's `wizard`, and i think i made it as to what extent i care for
names.
you insist on useing people's names, but does it really matter?
if my name is rita, geek, george or scaredycat would it make a
difference?
would i be a different person? yet, on the other hand your lack of
knowladge causes you to say things "...my MOO" and once you realize that
you are wrong, you are compelled to give lame excuses. A MOO is not a
MOO
by any other name. i am.
> You were a soldier in one of the best trained armies in the world.
and i know karate ;-)
> With those perameters would you please be so kind as to look into a
mail
> exploder program?
yes.
> Both of them are students, one in Israel, one in Washington state.
just to give you the facts, i am not a student.
> The former I have MOOknown for months having spent quite a few very
> drunken nights promising to take the next flight out of Kennedy to
go marry
> her and become a spy for the Mossad.
i think the chances of the mossad accepting someone like you are about
as
high as me saying yes (or, come to think of it, meeting you at the
air-port)
> She won't even tell me her fucking name
i think we coverd the name subject already...
> even though she's newly available, having broken up with her
low-rent
> boyfriend from the army.
not having a bf doesn't make me available, mind you.
> She is clinically totally paranoid and will probably
> have fits when she sees I have publicized her e-mail address.
true, true. but i think i win this round, this email i gave you is a
freenet, no one knows my name and i don't keep any secret files here.
so,
hack away! you'll find nothing. and flames are welcome. i like getting
the >>>new mail<<< message.
> why would a perfectly secure young Israeli not want to give her
name to a
> friend, but a girl who has had a rather bad experience on the
'net, well on
> the floor I think she told me.
bad experience on the net? if i think netsex is pathetic it's not
because
of some so-called cyber rape or god knows what newbies like you think
happen on the net. what is cyber rape? it's when people invade you
privacy, thats all we (or at least i) have to keep to ourselves on the
net. if you were to hack personal files i would call that cyber rape,
if
you crack my password and use my name, that is cyber rape. cyber rape
is
not forced netsex. forced netsex is ASCII characters on my screen.
> freely give out her e-mail to a stranger (and you all know I'm
strange) and
> ask to become part of our little group?
If you read my letter again, you will see that i never asked to become a
part of it. i still don't understand it, i get the `lets make lotsa
money
on the net` but i have yet to comprehend the `how` part.
> Beats me. There's no such thing as paranoia...
whatever you say `king of the MOO`.
before you go on your holy quest for money and power, consider the
following:
you are (like it or not) a newbie, a stranger in another country with
rules and history of it's own.
i once told you to learn netiquette, but i was wrong.
the MTV generation has taken over.
once the only people connected where the people who could figure out how
to use it.
today, every undergraduate can his paws on the net and the whole world
can hear his voice.
--scaredycat (excuse my spelling, it's a second language)
>> A Beautiful obsession with the binary world <<
>> By Steven Levy <<
She can kill all your files;
She can freeze with a frown.
And a wave of her hand brings the
whole system down.
And she works on her code until ten
after three.
She lives like a bat but she's always a
hacker to me.
- from the LOTS
Hacker songbook
From: Nichelle
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Re: Scott Alexander Gabriel Reiss
> > why would a perfectly secure young Israeli not want to give
her name to a
> > friend, but a girl who has had a rather bad experience on the
'net, well on
> > the floor I think she told me.
> bad experience on the net? if i think netsex is pathetic it's not
because
> of some so-called cyber rape or god knows what newbies like you
think
> happen on the net. what is cyber rape? it's when people invade you
> privacy, thats all we (or at least i) have to keep to ourselves on
the
> net. if you were to hack personal files i would call that cyber
rape, if
> you crack my password and use my name, that is cyber rape. cyber
rape is
> not forced netsex. forced netsex is ASCII characters on my screen.
Just to clear things up, I didn't have a bad experience on the net. I
had a bad experience with someone I knew from the net. It has nothing
to
do with netsex.
Also, I have seen MOO-rape and it wasn't pretty. Somebody wrote a rape
verb, quite lengthy, and used it in a public room. Believe me, it did
have an effect. It is possible to violate a person without them being
physically present. It is possible to violate a person verbally.
Nichelle
From: SAGReiss
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Re: Lovescript
I shouldn't write when I'm this fucking angry and am having a cigarette
for breakfast, but you've gone a little too far in your dumb-ass
foolishness. I'm sorry, love, please remember you are about ten years
younger than I and far less knowledgeable about everything except how
to use a 'puter (which is why I asked for your help) and how to shoot a
gun, which is about as useless a fucking skill as I can imagine. Don't
give me that shit about second languages. I'll write to you in French
or German if you prefer. If you would take five minutes (the time you
so kindly allot me when you're annoyed) and read Nichelle's
breathtaking letter you would see what a far better human being she is
than either of us. We're not talking about ASCII, we're talking about a
dick
up the ass irl about four times and she's got the guts to come on this
listserve, if that's what you want to call it, and share her experience
with us in
the simple, candid prose that have always made the best writing
chilling
and wounding. I have made a lot of jokes about daterape and the camps
de
viol in Bosnia and I shall continue to do so, but never again without
wincing
inside and thinking of Nichelle. She has given me a scar which will
never
heal, like reading Macbeth or the 120 Days of Sodom. By the way
Nichelle
I want to personnally apologize for the vile race of men, God and
whoever
else is responsible for all this shit. I don't give a fuck about your
chickenshit
hacking. Grow up, woman. There's no such thing as virtual reality.
From: SAGReiss
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Silence
Am I just a one-night cyberstand? Have I said something to piss you
off? Is your server down? Or don't you check your e-mail very often?
Should I call you in OZ? I'm confused. Please tell me what I should do.
From: SAGReiss
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Calmed down
I'm sorry about that childish little outburst. I was very angry at what
seemed (and seems) to me your belittling of Nichelle's real life bad
luck, if I may call it that. Let's be grown-up about this. If you want
off the
'net, I think I still have the moral authority to take you off and
prevent
anyone else here from using your e-mail against your wishes. This is
quickly
spinning out of my control, but that was part of the plan. I do think
about
these things, you see. I don't think any of my friends would want to
e-mail
someone who isn't going to read it or answer it. What's the point in
clogging
up someone's inbox? If I made a mistake in putting you on here, I'm
sorry.
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Perhaps I got carried away.
These
are heady days. Anyway, I've calmed down, had some coffee, grapefruit
and
peanut butter bread, smoked a few cigarettes, taken a shit, bathed and
done
the dishes.Tyisha, I'm sorry about sagr9, but you'll have to bear with
me.
I can't afford to stay on MSN and I'm waiting for an upgrade from IDT.
They're very hard to reach. It usually means waiting an hour playing
mindless games of solitaire and listening to their stupid muzac and
recorded messages. I'm taking care of it as fast as I can. Please be
forewarned, all who don't speak up (except for you, Corinne and Jeff),
I'm going to take your addresses out of this when I get the Eudora
software in a few days. So please, just speak up if you want to be on
here and say the word if you don't. Rectum vinum.
From: SAGReiss
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Times zones
I have to get used to the +15-hour time difference. I'm home now
10:40AM EST. I'm going to work in four hours. I too was around last
night. I don't know who we missed eachother. We'll have to think of
some way to work around my chaotic schedule and the time change. I'm
sorry I couldn't talk to you last night. I'll tuck you in bed,
platonically kiss your clitoris good-night and wish you sweet dreams.
From: karen have a guess
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: Re: Silence
dear scott,
where were you tonight??
i was in the chat rooms. lobbies for hours!!
i read your email but it would have been 4am your time. therfore i
didn't answer back. sorry.
anyway it's 1:15 am now and i'm off to bed now.
where are you now??
email me. i won't be close to my computer this weekend but i shall
email you.
take care,
karen
From: SAGReiss
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: +14 hours
I'll try to work this out. I guess it's fourteen hours because of
daylight savings time or something. My phone book said fifteen, but
I'll take your word for it.
NY: OZ
6AM: 10PM
9AM: 1AM
Noon: 4AM
3PM: 7AM
6PM: 10AM
9PM: 1PM
Midnight: 4PM
3AM: 7PM
I understand now. I was looking for you in the morning and early
afternoon OZtime while you were working. You were looking for me in the
very early morning NYtime when I was asleep. I'll be on tonight in the
late afternoon and early evening OZtime if you're free. I'm working the
nightshift doing room service. That's a weird job. People call me up to
their rooms in their underware and worse. I'll look for you around 6PM
OZtime. Sleep tight, my love.
From: bat7
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: a couple of things
1.
please take me off your list. all i wanted to do was help you out with
the technical side.
i didn't do this because i wanted you to comment on my mental state, my
logic (rather the lack of it) or the fact that i'm paranoid.
i didn't do this because i wanted to give my email to people i do not
know, as nice and intelligent as they may be, i still do not know them.
i like to have control over that matter, and decide myself who may write
to me and who may not.
when i gave you my email, i presumed that my email would not appear on
all the recipients' copies. i assumed that only by sending in a letter
would i give away my email. for some odd reason i was thinking of any
RL
newspaper: only when posting an artical is your name published, not when
you sit down in the morning to read it with your coffee. even though the
administator might have a list of subscribers (this is true for most
mailing lists, new groups and 'zines on the internet, and those that DO
publicize the list of readers MUST make this fact known to the
subscriber
beforehand).
why did i do it? i'm not sure, maybe because i'm a compulsive helpful
person, yet another one of my many flaws.
2.
i didn't mean to offend nichelle@ewu.edu, i don't even know her. i wrote
that post to your group because you got me pissed (congradulations,
thats
quite hard to do...)
3.
have you noticed the welcome screen of LambdaMOO? it has been changed. a
ballot was passed to include a line forbidding reaserchers or jurnalists
to quote a MOOer without permission. if you do so (not that you were
planning to do such atrocities), you may get disputed by this MOOer and
the wizards of LambdaMOO will put your connection site on a black list.
"what do i care about Lambda's legal system?" this will make it
impossible for you to connect again.
4.
> Despite rumours to the contrary I did manage to script last
night's cyberdate
> from hell.
the correct term is `log`. as iRL, you "log events as they happen", you
do not "script" them. the technical deffenition for script is a list of
commands for a certian scenario. if you don't remember the non-technical
defention simply send an empty email to infobot@infomania.com with the
subject: WEBSTER SCRIPT
5.
why DID you get a 150MHz pentium?
--scaredycat
From: Nichelle
Date: 29 February 1996
Subject: A quick note
Scott, this is s quick personal message, which is why I am sending it
only to you. I am flattered by the things you have said about me over
the
last few days. Apparently, you have managed to discard that scorn you
felt
the night of our meeting. I look forward to talking to you again,
perhaps
on the moo, minus the scorn this time. Soon-
Nichelle
March 1996
vr: 1996
